Ever wonder what authors would do in the case of a zombie apocalypse? On every Thursday, I’ll be posting the answers to that question on my blog…
This week, author Jane Alvey Harris weighs in on her zombie apocalypse survival plan.
I already have a ‘Zombie Contingency Plan’ ready to go
My good friend James asked me to write up a guest post about what I would do in the event of a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. I bet he wasn’t expecting to hear that I already have a ‘Zombie Contingency Plan’ ready to go. But I totally DO.
SML
Here’s the thing. I don’t like zombies. Like, AT ALL.
“Well, duh, Jane,” you might scoff. “Nobody likes zombies!” Yeah, yeah. So you say. But I know some of you secretly can’t wait to get out there and dust up some undead. I for REALS want NOTHING to do with them.
Anyone who knows me well knows what I would do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. I think it’s an important disclosure, and one that can tell you a lot about a person.
SLXL
Do YOUR loved ones know about your Zombie Apocalypse Contingency Plan?
XLLS
Mine do, and it’s pretty simple: I would off myself. Immediately.
MLXL
Trust me, I know this isn’t a popular plan, and you’re welcome to try and change my mind. But you won’t. I promise: I would only choose this plan IF there were an apocalypse, and IF that apocalypse produced brain-eating zombies.
IF, PEOPLE!!!
SLXL Because, (sorry, James) why would anyone want to survive a Zombie Apocalypse?? The living turn into MONSTERS, and like, strap strangers to mattresses for their snacking convenience, (I’m still traumatized after reading Cormac McCarty’s “The Road”) and all the undead are gory, gross, brain-eating machines.
I see no tenable future in that scenario.
Emily, the main character in my current series, the My Myth Trilogy, would XLL Shandle things quite differently. She’s a caricature of my own personality, which makes her simultaneously stronger and weaker than I am. Emily would survive to save her siblings Jacob, Aidan, and Claire (whereas I would kill us all). They’re her whole purpose, her reason for striving, her reason for facing her demons, her reason for doing really difficult things that almost paralyze her.
Emily may joke about zombies, but if they ever threatened her brothers and sister, she would decimate them with her masculine and feminine Fae powers of Blaze and Keen.
Bottom line:
You absolutely want Emily on your side in a zombie apocalypse.
You just want to be very careful not to get to close…
and you definitely never want to piss her off.
As for me? I’m guessing you probably don’t want me on your side.
I have a Humanities degree from Brigham Young University with emphases in Art History, Italian Language, and Studio Art. I’m CRAZY about the visual and performing arts! I enjoy playing classical piano, painting & sketching, singing & acting, and especially writing poetry & prose.
But my real passion is PEOPLE. I love to watch and study what makes us tick as human beings. I’m definitely a dreamer, and my favorite thing to do is weave together sublime settings and stories for characters to live and learn in…myself included.
I currently live in an enchanted fairy-princess castle in Dallas, Texas, with my three often-adorable children and their three seldom-adorable cats.