Tag Archives: author life

Zombie Apocalypse: Heavy Metal Zombies

Ever wonder what authors would do in the case of a zombie apocalypse? For the next several weeks, I’ll be posting the answers to that question on my blog…

This week, author Arthur Slade weighs in on his zombie apocalypse survival plan.

What is your best skill in a zombie apocalypse?

Headbanging. Now some people perhaps laugh at my joyful love of 80s heavy metal. Perhaps they even look down their collective noses at me. Well, they won’t be doing so during the zombie apocalypse.

I have well over thirty years of headbanging in my system. My neck muscles are like steel bands. My ability to shake my head at great speed (the true skill of headbanging) will come in handy when those hands and fingers of the rotting dead reach for me. Twist head  to the left. Twist head to the right. Escape their grip! And if they corner me in a room with no escape I will just begin to shake and dance and play air guitar channelling Angus Young of AC/DC (look him up on YouTube you young ‘uns).

The zombies will all shake apart from the pure “metalness” of my performance. And finally, if an army of the dead approach, I will hit the high notes of Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden) and Rob Halford (Judas Priest) combined and the zombies will be incinerated.

Plus, I can run pretty fast for a middle-aged man.

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Arthur Slade was raised on a ranch in the Cypress Hills of Saskatchewan. He is the author of eighteen novels for young readers including The Hunchback Assignments, which won the prestigious TD Canadian Children’s Literature Award and Dust, winner of the Governor General’s Award for Children’s Literature. He also co-created the graphic novel Modo: Ember’s End.  He lives in Saskatoon, Canada. 

P.S. He does all of his writing on a treadmill desk. And he listens to heavy metal. At the same time.

Zombie Apocalypse: Fight or Flight?

Ever wonder what authors would do in the case of a zombie apocalypse? For the next several weeks, I’ll be posting the answers to that question on my blog…

This week, author Denise Jaden weighs in on her zombie apocalypse survival plan.

My Zombie Attack Plan…

My only strength in a Zombie attack is my best friend, Shelly. She has rescued me from car accidents and injuries requiring stitches. She is super-capable in all situations, and all I have to do is say the word and she will come to my rescue.

On my own, I am useless. You know how when some people get panicked, they stand up and fight, or reach for helpful battle or protective items, or even run away? Yeah, that’s not me, I don’t do any of that. I freeze. In fact, I’ve been known to pass out from panic—my heart rate drops, my hands and feet turn to ice, and I literally lose consciousness. I’m not proud of this. I always thought I’d be the person others would turn to in times of extreme stress, but the truth is, I’m the last person anyone should turn to!

 

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Denise Jaden wrote her debut novel, Losing Faith, in twenty-one days during NaNoWriMo in 2007. Jaden’s other young adult novels include Never Enough, A Christmas Kerril, Foreign Exchange, and Avalanche. Her nonfiction books for writers include Writing with a Heavy Heart and the NaNoWriMo-popular guide Fast Fiction. Her latest how-to writing guide is Story Sparks.

For Denise’s latest novel, check out: Outcast: Track One: A Living Out Loud Novel

 

Zombie Apocalypse: Zombie Escape Artist

Ever wonder what authors would do in the case of a zombie apocalypse? For the next several weeks, I’ll be posting the answers to that question on my blog…

This week, author Karen Spafford-Fitz weighs in on her zombie apocalypse survival plan.

Full disclosure: I have never watched a zombie movie in my life.

I don’t really understand what zombies are, or what they’re capable of doing. So I’m possibly the least qualified person to write about how I’d respond during a Zombie Apocalypse. Nonetheless, I’m surprised by my strength of conviction about how I’d survive such an attack.

First of all, I am NOT a morning person.

In fact, I have been described as [wait for it….] a ZOMBIE in the morning. Doesn’t that already give me an edge? So if the Zombie Apocalypse were to happen in the morning hours—and my odds are 50/50—any zombie warriors would simply assume I was one of them and would pass me by. Because we’re talking zombies—not cannibals, right? (PLEASE tell me zombies aren’t cannibals too. Otherwise, I’m hooped!)

Just in case I’m wrong about the cannibalism thing, I have a second skill that would surely prove invaluable:

I am profoundly directionally-challenged. In fact, the only thing more non-existent than my knowledge of zombies, is my non-existent sense of direction. My daughters even have a rule when travelling with me: “If Mom says to turn left, just turn right and you’ll be fine.” My directional challenges are virtually on the superpower level. I defy anyone to figure out why I just turned left, veered right, hopped over a fence, or made any other directional move. Even I am without explanation for them. I am one-hundred-percent unpredictable and would baffle even the smartest—or the dumbest—zombie going. Take that, Zombo!

If, on the slightest off-chance, neither of the above happened to work, I’d do something else supremely clever. Like, I’d eat a clove of garlic or I’d wear a cross. Because that would work too. Wouldn’t it?

Karen

Karen Spafford-Fitz is the author of three middle-grade and teen novels: Saving Grad, Vanish and Dog Walker. Her two new books, Unity Club (Orca) and Push Back (Lorimer) will be released in fall 2018. Karen lives in Edmonton, Alberta where she anticipates adding “Zombie Escape Artist” to her resumé.