It’s been a long while since I last posted, and has this summer been filled with many transitions. Each time I thought, “I should blog this change,” something else occurred and I decided it best to wait. Then it was something else, and something else. It got me thinking about the importance of not giving up when things don’t seem to be going the way you planned. Or when Life kicks you so hard, that you give up on it for awhile in order to regain the strength to carry on.
Nothing so dramatic has happened to me. Unless you consider the beginning of the summer, shortly after my last post, when my dog, Conan, developed digestion issues. For those of you who don’t know, Conan is a 15-year old Shih Tzu that I’ve had since he was six-months old. Last Christmas he developed chronic liver disease, and unfortunately the medication he’s on (best of its kind) is slowing it down but not stopping it. Without going into detail, the issues he was having meant he couldn’t stop himself from making messes – every hour on the hour. Like clockwork. I was informed that I had to consider his quality of life vs. my need for him here.
At this same time I was starting a new job at the Richmond Public Library as a student Library Tech. It was a steep learning curve, and without the required sleep (I was up every hour to help my boy) it was even steeper. The first couple weeks into July were rough, and I was worried about being labeled “That guy who yawns all the time.”
With both Conan’s and my quality of life being affected, I had one final option (after much research): to try Conan on canned food that was easier to digest. If that wasn’t going to work, it was time to say goodbye.
Thank the Heavens that it did not come to that. The soft food helped immediately – and also on the advice of my research (notice I don’t say vet) I added a tablespoon of fresh pumpkin. (Which I now freeze in quantities of tablespoons.) His digestion issues disappeared, he started gaining weight again, and his energy returned. That also meant he was sleeping through the night, and so was I.
Add to this that I also had commitments to a creative writing program at UBC through the Writing Centre, a writing workshop at the Surrey Public Library, and I was one of the mentors at the Vancouver Public Library’s Bookcamp, and this was a very busy summer.
As I wrote, during all this I was beginning a new job at the Richmond Public Library. I must admit that I was nervous at first, because if it turned out I couldn’t do it then it meant my effort at returning to school was a bust. It was not unlike the feelings I get with exercise, or with writing. All these voices pop into my head from those well-meaning adults from my childhood who told me not to try, don’t risk failure, and accept that I’m just not capable of “that.” Following the advice that I give my students – I ignored those voices (what the Artist’s Way calls “The Censor”) and persevered. After all, I have exercised to the point where my body has changed shape and my writing has been published in three novels. Fear does not triumph over me.
It’s now been eight weeks at this new job and I am unbelievably happy. My coworkers are amazing people, my bosses are wonderful, the patrons who use the library are inspiring. I’m running writing classes for middle grade and teens – offering something to the community that will become a positive influence in children at that age when they need it most. And how does this new job affect the rest of my goals?
It makes me look forward to returning to school in a couple weeks – with the determination that I can succeed. I come home and want to exercise, because I know that (especially being a man) that breaking the stereotype of what a library tech is supposed to be is important. And all of this inspires me to create – and write – in that same way that I get to inspire all these new faces in my life.
What we do matters. What *you* do, matters. From advocating for that animal in your life that has no voice, to the every day act of being the best version of yourself. You don’t know who is listening, who is watching, and who is realizing that if you can do it so can they. You’ve changed lives today – whether you know it or not. And that makes you awesome!